Rumor Has It

I've tried over the years to start rumors about myself. Apparently it's completely unbelievable (or maybe just uninteresting) that I was in a three man Neil Diamond tribute band called the "Solitary Men" or that I was the 1991 Midwest Junior Stratego Champion. The latest rumor was not one that was stated by me. Rumor has it...I tune pianos. After reading several comments about this rumor on Facebook, I have prepared a statement:

Thank you everyone for your kind comments and fond remembrances. I apologize for my delayed response. I have taken much time to ponder. I can remember when I was but a lad [fade to flashback] watching Mary Poppins. The frustration Mr. Banks expressed about sitting down to a piano that was out of tune really struck me. I thought, "That poor man, he could have been happy if only that piano was in tune." In that moment, I heard the call of destiny. Since then, there have been many pianos in my life. However, after much soul searching and inner turmoil, I can heed it's siren song no more. Piano tuning has been a wild ride but it's a younger man's game. I'm going to pursue another great passion of mine--kazoo repair. If there's ever a kazoo that is in need of repair just remember, "Kazoo ya gonna call...Matt Kitchen".

Whoever stated this rumor, would you please let me know how you did it?