Sticky Situation

Everything at IHOP is always sticky. Why?! Unless I'm mistaken they serve the food on plates that should confine the syrup to a certain area. It is an unreasonable expectation to assume that seating, tables, and "clean" flatware should not have syrup residue? When talking about this an acquaintance, that will remain names for their protection, said "IHOP infuses the air with syrup". This smell, like the song of the sirens, is there to entice any passerby to enter and be ensnared in the sticky trap. There is a conspiracy out there and I'm almost positive the Canadians are involved. If you ask me the whole this is very syruptitious.